I now live in Berkeley, California. A few years ago, just a few blocks from my home, a pair of researchers in the Cal psychology department staged an experiment. They began by grabbing students, as lab rats. Then they broke the students into teams, segregated by sex. Three men, or three women, per team. Then they put these teams of three into a room, and arbitrarily assigned one of the three to act as leader. Then they gave them some complicated moral problem to solve: say what should be done about academic cheating, or how to regulate drinking on campus.
Exactly 30 minutes into the problem-solving the researchers interrupted each group. They entered the room bearing a plate of cookies. Four cookies. The team consisted of three people, but there were these four cookies. Every team member obviously got one cookie, but that left a fourth cookie, just sitting there. It should have been awkward. But it wasn’t. With incredible consistency the person arbitrarily appointed leader of the group grabbed the fourth cookie, and ate it. Not only ate it, but ate it with gusto: lips smacking, mouth open, drool at the corners of their mouths. In the end all that was left of the extra cookie were crumbs on the leader’s shirt.
This leader had performed no special task. He had no special virtue. He’d been chosen at random, 30 minutes earlier. His status was nothing but luck. But it still left him with the sense that the cookie should be his.
This experiment helps to explain Wall Street bonuses and CEO pay, and I’m sure lots of other human behavior. But it also is relevant to new graduates of Princeton University. In a general sort of way you have been appointed the leader of the group. Your appointment may not be entirely arbitrary. But you must sense its arbitrary aspect: you are the lucky few. Lucky in your parents, lucky in your country, lucky that a place like Princeton exists that can take in lucky people, introduce them to other lucky people, and increase their chances of becoming even luckier. Lucky that you live in the richest society the world has ever seen, in a time when no one actually expects you to sacrifice your interests to anything.
All of you have been faced with the extra cookie. All of you will be faced with many more of them. In time you will find it easy to assume that you deserve the extra cookie. For all I know, you may. But you’ll be happier, and the world will be better off, if you at least pretend that you don’t.
I couldn’t agree more. I feel completely lucky to be on the earth at this time, in this country, with my family and with all the other things that have fallen into place for me. It’s great to stop every now and then and acknowledge it.
You can watch the whole thing video:
A friend of mine was just telling me about this speech last night at dinner. It’s an incredible message, and quite unique, I think, for a graduation speech. Not only is it good advice, but it’s practical advice. It isn’t about finding your way in a tough economy, following your dreams, etc., etc. If this were my graduation, I’d leave feeling satisfied and invigorated.
Inspired by this (and the fact that I’m upset about my home state burning), I decided not to assume that the extra cookie is deserved – in my case being able to do pretty much whatever I want this weekend, in safety and with my home intact. So I made a donation to my local Red Cross chapter to help with the High Park fire disaster relief.
Here’s how I went about doing that, in case you were interested. I wanted to volunteer, but…
See link second paragraph, “Donate to Red Cross Disaster Relief”: http://www.coloradoredcross.org/detalle_noticias.asp?SN=200&OP=210&id=12198&IDCapitulo=Q4Q26NY21NAnother good resource, which explains more of how they don’t need volunteers just yet, and gives more organizations that are actively helping and in need of donation:
http://www.kunc.org/post/high-park-fire-how-you-can-help
nspired by this (and the fact that I’m upset about my home state burning), I decided not to assume that the extra cookie is deserved – in my case being able to do pretty much whatever I want this weekend, in safety and with my home intact. So I made a donation to my local Red Cross chapter to help with the High Park fire disaster relief.
Here’s how I went about doing that, in case you were interested. I wanted to volunteer, but…
See link second paragraph, “Donate to Red Cross Disaster Relief”: http://www.coloradoredcross.org/detalle_noticias.asp?SN=200&OP=210&id=12198&IDCapitulo=Q4Q26NY21N
Another good resource, which explains more of how they don’t need volunteers just yet, and gives more organizations that are actively helping and in need of donation:
http://www.kunc.org/post/high-park-fire-how-you-can-help
awesome man, great find