Silent Hill Is Terrible

So terrible in fact, it's hilarious. The plot is so absurd that it was kinda enjoyable. Let me list some of the things in the actual movie:

Actual Things in The Plot

  • The main characters are a mother/daughter team who take a road trip to a ghost town (because in the daughter's dreams she is called there of course). The ghost town is actually an alternate world where everyone's already dead – but apperenty their cell phones can reach the other side, although its pretty staticy
  • In the ghost town, every hour or so, sirens sound and "darkness" comes where mutants appear out of thin air and come into town to terrorize and kill anyone wondering around. After about 20 minutes of terrorizing, they disintigrate into thin air and the sun comes back out.
  • it is raining ash all the time due to underground coal fires that have been burning for 30 years. But the ash is either from that or the mutants who come out b/c after an hour or so of terrorizing the people, they burn up
  • Immediately after entering the spooky ghost town, the daughter runs away from her mom. The mom then goes around trying to find her and rescue her . To help her the daughter has left clues within the different buildings in the town that the mom – doing good detective work – finds.
  • There are bad guys (who knows who they are) wearing fumigation suits and masks (note: nobody else does and nothing bad happens to them). These guys go around town with metal pipes killing humans as they believe they are "sinners" or something like that.
  • There's a mutant guy with anvil head and huge-ass 20 foot knife who commands an army of cockroaches.  He comes with "the darkness"
  • The main character (adopted daughter) is adopted by the main family but coincidentally she looks exactly like another young girl who died 30 years ago who was killed because her mom wouldn't tell the town who the father was. Because of this apparent sin the people of the town decided to burn the girl in a bonfire they made inside the middle of the church. If you're going to build a bonfire to burn people, you might want to do it outside 
  • Every women in the film has huge boobs and a really tight shirt – even the mutants who have no heads, they have big boobs. I thought it made them even scarier. 

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