Category: Funny

Clarett: Prison is Cool, At Least I'm Hairless

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For those of you not paying attention, former Ohio State awesome running back Maurice Clarett was charged with carrying a concealed weapon after a highway chase early Wednesday that ended with police using Mace on him. After they got him they found four loaded guns in his SUV.

Apparently he fancies himself a badass. In fact, according to Sgt. Michael Wood, “It took several officers to get him handcuffed,” Woods said. “Even after he was placed in the paddy wagon, he was still kicking at the doors and being a problem for the officers.”

Also, the 22-year-old Clarett is currently awaiting trial on two counts of aggravated robbery, four counts of robbery and one count of carrying a concealed weapon in a separate case.

My question is, if he is such a badass – why the cat hair remover? If you look at the picture of his front seat, you’ll see the following:

clarett_illustration_412.jpg

  • Automatic weapon
  • 3 handguns
  • Grey Goose vodka
  • A CAT HAIR REMOVER! (bottom left of the picture)

Apparently if you’re going to hit the streets, you better have hair free duds. Good to know.

Funny Captcha: A HotorNot version

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All of us have seen the little puzzles you have to fill out in order to leave a comment or register for some service (they are called captcha‘s). They’re used to deter computer programs from leaving spam in comment sections and other nasty stuff. It actually stands for “completely automated public Turing test to tell computers and humans apart”

captcha.jpg

Today i stumbled across a new one that has a little more fun than the typical alphanumeric captcha – it’s called Hot Captcha. It requires you to choose 3 “hot” girls from 9 pictures. Below is a picture of it, click on it to go to the site hotcaptcha and try it for yourself:

hotcaptcha.jpg

It’s interesting how this works. They basically use the HotorNot API and query 3 women who are above the score 9.0 and 6 who are below a certain number (i’m not sure what it is). So, they are relying on the masses to choose who’s hot and then using that data to ask people a question, “who’s hot?” to prove you’re not a computer program. Awesome.

Star Wars Videos

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I’ve come across these two four funny videos about Star Wars.

In order of funniness, i’d go: 1) Robot Chicken, 2) Ask a Ninja, 3) Gnarls Barkley video, 4) Vadar Sessions.  Checking em out:

Robot Chicken

This is a great scene of the Senator taking a call from Vadar after the Death Star is blown up. There is some genius in here. I especially love the first line when he’s bragging, “And then i threw the senate at them, the WHOLE SENATE!” I love it. I also like how the ringtone is the ring from 24.

[googlevideo=http://video.google.com/googleplayer.swf?docId=5395083952125133994]
Ask A Ninja – Star Wars

Ninja talks about how Vadar was close to a ninja and all ninja’s ability to access a James Earl Jones voice.

Video is here

Gnarl Barkley

A great clip from the MTV Music Awards have them coming out in Star Wars costumes. I love the site of storm troopers on base and i think the Chewy on drums is the best.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VauzAMWMmYk]

Vader Sessions

Torn by good & evil and an incestuous love affair, a lonely and depraved Darth Vader has a nervous breakdown. This video uses James Earl Jones voice over Darth’s to make Darth look non-sensical and pretty damn funny.

I can’t seem to get it to embedd for some reason, so go here to watch the clip.

Rita Rudner Quotes

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Some good quotes by Rita:

  • Before I met my husband, I’d never fallen in love. I’d stepped in it a few times.
  • I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
  • Marriages don’t last. When I meet a guy, the first question I ask myself is: is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
  • My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can’t decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives.
  • When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.

Best Juggling Ever

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I was forward this juggling act performed by Chris Bliss today. I must say its amazing. Check it out.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z965UUEmdB8&search=chris%20bliss]

Chris dropped out after his third year of college (dean’s list at Northwestern) to become a professional juggler. After becoming the best damn juggler ever, he became a standup comic – and is actually pretty funny.

Grizzly Man Comments

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grizzlyman.jpgI recently watched the documentary Grizzly Man, which was great. At first i wasn’t sure how pysched i’d be to watch an entire movie that’s all about a guy hanging out in a National Park with bears. But from the moment it began i was mesmerized. This guy is a total nut-job and the movie goes on trying to make him a hero. The bear scenes are amazing too. I have yet to see a National Geographic special that has as good footage as this does. The bear scenes are incredible. But lets focus on the guy being completely insane.

The Sports Guy has some good comments too:

It’s the first documentary since “American Movie” that ranks a perfect 100 on the Unintentional Comedy Scale. First of all, it’s directed by Werner Herzog, who (incredibly) decided to narrate the movie even though he sounds like he’s auditioning for a Hans & Frans sketch. Second, the Grizzly Man guy is an absolute maniac and can’t be described even remotely. You just have to see him in action. He’s surpassed Mark Byars (from “Paradise Lost”) and Mark Borchardt for me, and I never thought I would say that. Third, there are so many ridiculously funny moments (likegrizzlyman2.jpg when Grizzly Man claims that he lost out to Woody Harrelson as Coach’s replacement on “Cheers,” or when he’s playing with the bear poop) that you can’t even believe it’s happening as it’s happening. I kept thinking that this was like the “Blair Witch Project,” some sort of elaborate hoax by the creators of “Mr. Show.” But it’s not. And fourth, this is the first movie that I can remember that glorifies someone who’s completely insane. I mean, COMPLETELY. Utterly and totally.