Category: Funny

Universal Studio's "Welcome" Movie

Posted on

Back before the South Park guys made South Park, they were just looking to make a buck any way they could. Universal Studios, right after they acquired Seagram Liquors actually hired them to make a video for new employees. Luckily for us, they were still completely crazy and hysterical. Here’s a peak at the video

[googlevideo=http://video.google.com/googleplayer.swf?docId=-6493841613076981287&hl=en]

Also, keeping with the spirit, my friend SubjectToBlackout sent me the awesome “Make Love Not Warcraft” episode of South Park which is damn good. If you have a spare 22 minutes, i highly recommend you check it out. The episode has been taken off YouTube, but you can get it here at DailyMotion.

The episode was so awesome that it actually has its own Wikipedia page. Pretty funny. Check it out, or as Cartman says:

You can just hang around outside all day tossing a ball around, or you can sit at your computer and do something that matters.

Some Insults, Back When Insults Had Class

Posted on

“He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.” Winston Churchill

“I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.” Clarence Darrow

“He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.” William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

“Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?” Ernest Hemingway (in reply to William Faulkner)

“Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I’ll waste no time reading it.” Moses Hadas

“He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.”
Abraham Lincoln

“A modest little person, with much to be modest about.” Winston Churchill

“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.” Groucho Marx

“I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.” Mark Twain

“He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.” Oscar Wilde

“I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play, bring a friend…if you have one.” George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

“Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second…if there is one.” Winston Churchill, in reply.

MySpace Rolls Out "The Black Carpet"

Posted on

Apparently Black is the new Red. MySpace continues to crush the online world. In addition to being the #1 most visited site on the entire internet, they now are going after movie screens. Today, they launched a service called “The Black Carpet,” which allows MySpacers to see advanced screenings of movies in Canada, Germany, Great Britain, Ireland, Australia, and 20 U.S. cities (including DC!).

The Black Carpet

All you need to do is add the Black Carpet profile to your friends list and you’ll receive notices on how to get access to movies previews at local theaters. The first movie being promoted is (the hysterical looking) Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan. If you haven’t seen the trailer, here it is: (and here’s the Borat MySpace page).

[youtube=http://youtube.com/watch?v=Fq_fzdEk0r8]

This is, of course, permission based marketing and social networks are the perfect place to accomplish it. Bands connecting with their fans on MySpace and Bebo was just the beginning, now MySpace allows you to add brands to your friends list such as Adidas Soccer or Nike Women. Meanwhile, Facebook is creating corporate groups, like the Apple Students group which gives away free iTunes tracks. It will only get worse as more corporation get wise to this whole “internet” and “social networking” thing.

I actually love the idea of allowing interested fans to preview a film prior to its release as these viewers are the ones who will evangelize and spread positive buzz both locally and within the blogosphere. Personally, i think the studios and MySpace could go even farther by using the online audience to provide user reviews and comments at various stages and improve the test screening process. Until then, i’ll be happy with my advanced screen tickets courtesy of The Black Carpet. Rock.

If you are totally clueless about MySpace, go check it out and feel free to add me as a friend. I’m at myspace.com/pescatello/

Sometimes A Name Says It All

Posted on

While doing some fantasy football research, this was stumbled upon (thanks Jules). And you thought your childhood was tough.

lucious.png

If you you thought Lucious was tough, read the story about this guy:

HANOI (Reuters) – A Vietnamese man who once appeared on national television to demonstrate his ability to resist electric shocks has been electrocuted while repairing a generator, an official said Tuesday.

Nguyen Van Hung, aged in his early 40s, was killed in Tay Ninh province near the Cambodian border while repairing the generator without first cutting the power supply, a local official said.

“When alive, he used to demonstrate at our office how he would insert two fingers into the electrical plughole without problems,” the official said.

Hung, nicknamed “Hung Electric,” had appeared on television’s “Strange Stories of Vietnam.”

How many times do you have to be called Hung Electric for it to stick?

 

4 Ridiculous Videos You Need to Watch

Posted on

Ok, i have three of them for you today. All are equally entertaining in a completely different way. One is a 70’s music video, one is a music video from today and the last is a guy answering his reader’s mail with a greatly absurd song. Let’s begin:

Apache

The was brought to my attention from SG and is a music video from the 70’s. I wasn’t alive in the 70’s but i am aware that there was lots of drug use, objectification of women and pretty trippy music. Well, this video captures all that and then some. The unintentional comedy level is sky high on this baby. Check it out

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eTKL8MNH95Q]

Knights of Cydonia
I’m sure many of you have seen this but if not, let’s go. First let’s check what’s needed in a futuristic western kung-fu love story: lasers (check), all seven traditional samurai techniques (check), a hanging (check), love found then slapped then lost then reclaimed (check), giant desert robots (check), the KKK going after a white man (check), dirtbikes (check) – and i’m only half through the video. Never before have so many cliches been re-written and never before has rock been so ironic. They really explored the space here.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jV1bRfLHA3A]

Z’s My Little Ducky

Ok, so i didn’t knowwho Ze Frank was until about 24 hours ago. Since then i’ve watched two videos by him. The first was a speech he gave at TED in 2004. This is pretty entertaining and i was impressed. (Watch it here). The second is really what i want to share. It’s him answering some questions from his readers. What gets me is how awesome the little ducky song is. Seriously, this song is still stuck in my head. You have to listen to it. Check it here

The Little Girl Giant

This is amazing. I don’t know how they pulled it off or more importantly, i don’t know why. I mean, it’s only a 5 minute video but it must have taken months to years to do this. There’s a giant elephant at the beginning who gives the Little Girl Giant a shower and they barely even show the elephant but it must have been months to create that guy and he’s only there for 5 seconds. Seriously, this is amazing.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qBXr15K2uSc]

Snakes On A Plane (Continued)

Posted on

Two more things i’ve seen in the past two days.

First, i don’t know why this wasn’t more widely reported, but apparently in Arizona some people actually released a bunch of rattlesnakes into a theater that was showing Snakes on a Plane. How frickin’ scary would that be to be watching a ridiculous movie about snakes and to see one slithering down the aisle. Story is here.

Second, i saw this clip of Samuel L. doing his thing on The Daily Show and it was funny to see that he actually just signed up to do this movie based on the title, which is funny b/c people are going to see it based soley on that too. I also like how excited both Sam and John are just to be able to swear on television – it never gets old for Stewart.
[youtube=http://youtube.com/watch?v=PupI1HytQW4]

Beards – They're Coming Back!

Posted on

 

beard3.jpg

To celebrate a post i made on the blog FirstDateDC which was highlighted on Wonkette, i wanted to focus briefly in the other direction: male’s facial hair. Seeing that the 80’s are coming back (i’ll explain more in an upcoming post), does that mean that beards and mustaches are coming with them? I secretly hope so.

To add more excitement to the question, i recently saw that Beards.org had beards1.pngre-launched. I thought this site was pretty hysterical and displays pretty much how lame all men are. I mean, seriously, an entire site for beards? Wtf?

They do have advice on how to grow beards:

The sad truth is that there is no magic solution to produce beard growth where there is little or none. If the guy is young, patience may be the answer, as there is always the chance that he will develop more facial hair in the future. Otherwise, unless there is a medical problem inhibiting beard development, there’s really not much that can be done.

And sympathy and words for people who aren’t fortunate enough to grow:

I encourage all guys to work on accepting the level of beardbeards2.png development that they have and learning to make the most of it.

If it still bothers a guy enough, I encourage him to consult a medical doctor. The doctor may not be able to help him develop more beard growth, but should be able to assist the patient in understanding the situation and help him to build coping skills. This is one of the toughest lessons about beards.

Also have 1) beard grooming tips, 2) featured beards, 3) success stories, 4) videos and galleris, and of course 5) a blog

Enjoy (…i guess)

Thanks to SubjectToBlackout for this.

beard1.jpg