Category: Movies

Red Band Trailers are Back!

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There are 2 types of trailers: red-band and green-band. The trailer you usually see in front of a movie that reads, “This trailer has been approved for all audiences” has a green background and is a “green-band” trailer. There is another kind, the red-band, that is not approved for all audiences because it has something “bad” in it (read: more fun to watch).

In the past, only green-band trailers have been shown. But today, Regal Cinemas announced that they are going to start showing red-band trailers again. And since Regal is the nations largest chain, i have to hope that this starts a trend of it getting nasty before your film begins.

My 3 Favorite Moose Posts

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My cousin Sam Lewis (aka: “Moose”) is pure genius. He’s one the of the funnier writers you’ll ever meet. For your reading pleasure, i thought i’d introduce you to my favorite 3 blog posts of his.  His blog is called “Van Dusen Speaks” and you should make it your home page.

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Here they are with a little excerpt from each:

Number 1: The Captain of the Duke Lacrosse Team’s Time in Prison, as Told by Red in the “Shawshank Redemption” (link)

shawshank.jpgDay 1: There are some betting days when you know you’ve got your hands reined around the right horse, and when that bus pulled up I knew it was one of those days. They asked me my double down on who was gonna wail first, and I went with the pale faced white boy twirling a stick.

Day 23: I’ve always been known as a man who could obtain certain items. Liquor, dirty magazines, a bag of reefer if that’s your thing. But when Bret Thompson came up to me, it was the first time anyone had ever asked me for a No Fear T-shirt and a shark tooth necklace.

Day 24: The sisters got to Bret that night, making him wish Brine, Inc. made lower body padding. Later on they would know why his plunger was missing from the police evidence locker.

Day 97: So instead of laying tar, we all sat there on the roof on that hot afternoon, drinking those cold Gatorades that Bret’s mom had sent him.

Day 648: That (blasting Dave Matthews over the PA system) stunt cost Bret two weeks in the hole, but for a few minutes he truly felt free.

Number 2: You think you know me, Netflix recommendation software? Well, you don’t know shit (link)

…And let’s talk a little about the “one foreign film begets another” assumption. Just because I randomly order up “The Milkmaid of Avignon” during a bored frantic queuing session doesn’t mean I’m interested in watching just any foreign film. So spare me the instructions to rent some epic tale of a young boy waddling through the Uzbekistani mountains chasing a tire iron. Nor does it mean I will perk my ears up at any movie with a corseted woman on the cover who’s cleavage is about to take over Luxembourg. For your information “The Milkmaid of Avignon” is a gripping period tale of a young woman of humble origins who through courage, determination and unwavering firmness survived famine, the Spanish Inquisition and seeing John Paul Belmondo’s orgasm face. …

Number 3: Holiday Movie Mashup (link)

“My mother the tap dancing penguin.”  directed by Pedro Almodovar

The inspiring tale of a young boy who examines the ups and downs of all his past relationships through the viewpoint of his mother, a tap dancing penguin who one night fell victim to the passions of a drunk and lonely Spanish researcher on post in Antartica. This journey of self examination takes him hitchhiking where he meets Esteban, a traveling defibrillator salesman/fluorophiliac (people who like to rub toothpaste on their genitals before sex) on his way to meditate in the confines of a buddhist leper colony. This transformation inevitably takes him back to his roots, where he himself becomes a tap dancing penguin and strangely adopts the voice of Hugh Jackman, who as the voice of a computerized swimming bird uses slightly more facial expressions than he did in “Swordfish”.(Side comment: There’s alot of talk these days about movies being safe for the fragile minds of young children, but I ask you this: which would frighten you more as a young child, computerized tap dancing penguins or Michael Douglas doing a woman from behind over a desk. I say the penguin, unless the name of that actress has the words Glenn and Close in it).

Kimmel's Response to Sarah and Matt

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Jimmy Kimmel posted a response to his girlfriend’s video about f’ing Matt Damon. That video is here and the response Jimmy did is here:

[youtube=http://youtube.com/watch?v=het6hg2IlFw]

My thoughts are this:  What Matt and Sarah did was really creative, original, and funny.  Ben’s response is also funny, but what makes it funny is the amount of effort they went through to re-create the original – the cameo’s and the whole production.  In my mind, this is the exact difference between Matt and Ben.  While Matt continues to do new things and be original, Ben prefers instead to be a Hollywood star.  Ben takes good ideas and brings big budgets and star power to them.   For every one of Damon’s Syriana there’s an Affleck Daredevil.

Coen Bros. and Michael Chabon

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As everyone knows i’m a HUGE Coen Bros. fan and i just heard that their next project will be adapting Michael Chabon’s book The Yiddish Policeman’s Union.

I haven’t read this particular Chabon book, but i have read Wonder Boys and The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Klay which are both really good. You can bet your ass i’ll be reading Policeman’s Union very soon though.

The Coen brothers who are the forerunner for taking home another Best Picture Oscar this year with another adaptation in No Country For Old Men certainly have some good material here. Here’s a blurb about the book where you can definitely see the insanity:

“Chabon sets up a contemporary scenario where Jewish settlers are about to be displaced by U.S. government’s plans to turn the frozen locale of Sitka, Alaska, over to Alaskan natives. Against this backdrop is a noir-style murder mystery in which a rogue cop investigates the killing of a heroin-addicted chess prodigy who might be the messiah.”

There Will Be Oscars

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This is a very funny clip by David Spade on Funny or Die where he impersonates Daniel Day-Lewis from There Will Be Blood.  DDL definitely puts in a virtuosso performance and should win the Oscar.

Spade does a great job of getting the inflection right and overlaying the music.  It’s funny.  Click the image below to watch.

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Rambo and The Kite Runner are Surprisingly Similar

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Over the past 2 weeks, i’ve seen both Rambo and The Kite Runner. One is the 4th installment of the Slyvester Stallone killing machine saga and the other is the cinematic interpretation of the best selling novel about an afghan boy growing up around communist turmoil. They may appear to be completely different films, however, i found the two had some interesting similarities. For instance:

Point One: In Rambo some people get kidnapped by the nameless and faceless Myanmar military. Similarly, in Kite Runner the hero’s friend’s son is kidnapped from an orphanage and held captive by the faceless upstart afhgan terrorists.

Point Two: As a younger boy, Amir in Kite Runner witnesses some savage behavior and is forever haunted by these memories. Throughout the movie, he moves to a new land and tries to get on with his life, only to be pulled back and forced to face his demons. Rambo life follows a similar path as he is deeply impacted by his past experiences and although he tries to live a calmer life (by farming Cobras), he is forced back into battle to face his demons.

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Point 3: Both men have significant father issues. Amir’s dad loved his other son more and he forever tried to live up to his dad’s expectations. Rambo’s only surviving relative is his father and his only reason for staying alive.

Point 4: The two little games played in each movie: Kite Fighting and Cobra Fighting are strangely similar. Kite fighting is a game played by people in another country where you try to cut other kites. How you do this, i have no idea. Corba fighting is where you sit in a ring with a Cobra and “fight” it by trying not to die. I also have no idea how this works. Both games seem pretty dumb.

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Point 5: In Rambo, Sly breaks into a prison with no weapons or a plan to rescue a girl he barely knows even though he is being shot at the entire time. Similarly, Amir breaks into a Taliban guardhouse with no weapons and a horrible disguise to rescue a boy he’s never met. Both men narrowly escapes under heavy gunfire from automatic weapons

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Point 6: The bad terrorists and the bad Burmese both enjoy raping little boys

Point 7: There is a General in both Rambo and Amir’s life. For both people, this General represents normal society – even though they hate him.

Point 8: Both Rambo and Amir have absolutely no game with women. They are barely able to speak in their presence. Amir asked his dad to go ask a girl’s dad for a girl. Rambo follows around a married

Live for nothing, or die for something. You choose.

Hollywood story

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I’m reposting this from Marc Andressen’s blog. It is a story from Paul Zollo’s book Hollywood Remembered, an oral history of the movie industry. A great story about drive and commitment.

A 2001 interview with A. C. Lyles, a producer at Paramount who was born in 1918 in Jacksonville, Florida and worked at Paramount for over 60 years.

When I was 10 [in 1928] I wanted to make movies…

I had seen a picture called Wings — the first and only silent picture to win the Academy Award — with Clara Bow… and a new fella named Gary Cooper [who subsequently became a huge star]. I went and just fell in love with that picture. It was a Paramount picture playing at the Paramount Theater [at the time, the studios owned the theaters] in Jacksonville. I had seen that it said Adolph Zukor Presents, so I was in awe of Adolph Zukor [the founder and CEO of Paramount]. I spoke to the manager of the theater that day [to see] if he would give me a job. And he gave me a job handing out leaflets…

After four years in the job [he was then 14] I eventually met Adolph Zukor… when he came to Jacksonville. I asked him to let me come to Hollywood to work for him. He said, “Well, you’re just a kid, but you’ve been working for Paramount now for four years at the theater. So you finish high school, keep in touch, and I’ll hire you when you get out of high school.”

Now that was extremely kind of him… when he said to keep in touch and finish high school, my main objective then was to finish high school. But the most important thing was writing him a letter every Sunday. He didn’t tell me to write him every Sunday, he just told me to keep in touch. So I wrote him every Sunday for four years.

He didn’t write back — I didn’t hear from him but it didn’t matter. I never lost confidence or lost courage. I just knew he was looking forward to my letter each week as much as I was looking forward to writing him.

One day Gary Cooper came to my hometown. I was writing movie news for the hometown paper. I saw Mr. Cooper and I told him I would be out here in Hollywood to work at Paramount as soon as I got out of high school. And there again, for some reason, he took a quick liking to me. I told him about my letters to Zukor every Sunday and he asked me what I would be writing about this week, and I said, “Oh, about meeting you, Mr. Cooper.”

So he said, “Give me a piece of paper.” So he… wrote a note to Adolph Zukor saying, “I’m looking forward to seeing this kid on the lot.” So I wrote to Mr. Zukor telling him I had met Gary Cooper and enclosed the note to him.

Then I heard from Mr. Zukor indirectly. A woman named Sidney Brecker, who was his secretary, wrote to me and said, “Mr. Zukor has been receiving your letters. But he feels that you don’t have to write every week. If you wrote once every three or four or five months, that would be enough.”

Well, that didn’t discourage me at all. I continued to write to Mr. Zukor every Sunday. But I also had a new pigeon, Sidney Brecker, his secretary. So I wrote her every Sunday too. My whole main objective all week was what I was going to write to Mr. Zukor. Then I had to write another original letter to Sidney Brecker…

I wrote [Zukor] a letter every Sunday for four years, keeping in touch. The day I got out of high school [in 1936, in the heart of the Great Depression], I was in a day coach headed for Hollywood, where you sit up — probably four days and four nights. I had $48 in cash that I had saved up, and two loaves of bread, and two jars of peanut butter and a sack of apples, and I headed for Hollywood. Got off the train downtown, took the streetcar straight to Paramount, and told them at the gate to tell Mr. Zukor I was here.

And I’ve been here ever since.

I Am Legend is a better book than movie

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I saw the new Will Smith movie I Am Legend last night.  While it’s an average movie, it is far inferior to the book.  The book is only about 150 pages.  You should read it instead of seeing this movie.

What do i not like about the movie?  Specifically, i HATED all the last-minute saves.  The main character (Robert Neville) goes to fight the zombies in the middle of the night (dumb idea) and gets trapped under his car.  He’s been battling the zombies for 4 years at this point and is about to die.  At the exact moment when he’s about to be devoured, a girl comes out of nowhere to save him.  Nobody for 4 years and then at the last possible second, in the middle of NYC, a woman appears.  Puh-lease.

Another time that pissed me off.  So, Neville’s been working on developing a cure for this virus for years and about 30 seconds before he’s about to die, he finally discovers the solution.  And of course, the solution takes only 5 seconds to create.  Done!  Yeah right.

Will smith staring in debelief of the horrible final draft of his movie

The movie is about a doctor trying to right his wrong (releasing a virus) and being very active and regimented about it – he works out, takes detailed medical notes and is on top of his game all the time. Whereas the book is about an ordinary guy coping with the loss of his family, friends and society. He’s torn apart.  The people trying to kill him are the same people he loved for decades.  He’s shattered.  He drinks himself to sleep every night otherwise there’d be no way to go on.

The book’s character is extremely skeptical when he meets another person, he doesn’t trust her as everything he’s learned from the vampires leads him to believe they’re out to destroy him.  There’s a touching moment in the book when his desire for companionship overwhelms his mistrust and he let’s his guard down.  This same moment in the movie took 45 seconds and completely sucked.

[**Spoiler Alert**] The ending is the biggest difference.  There is a great twist in the book that fits with the entire theme of the story.  The twist in the book is that the woman found by Neville turns out to be a new type of vampire that has mutated enough to wistand the sunlight, and she’s been sent to find out more about Neville so he can be captured and disposed of.  Just when he begins to trust her, she turns on him and sells him out – even though they had a strong connection.  It’s a great turn of events.  The hunted (the vampires) become the hunters and the normal (Neville) become the monster in need of extermination.  There is no twist in the movie.  It instead turns into a typical horror/vampire movie where creatures jump out of the dark and try to kill everyone and their girlfriend.

Oh well, i guess Holiday season movie-goers don’t want clever endings or interesting stories.  If they do, they should pick up the book instead.

Best Movie of the Year: Juno

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I went to go see the movie Juno this weekend.  It was an incredible experience.  I can’t remember the last time i laughed out loud so much at a movie.  The humor were not just witty one-liners (which there were many) but physical and situational comedy too.  Just looking at Michael Cera in his running gear got me every time.  The entire experience was so great that i didn’t want the movie to end and had to restrain myself from applauding when it finished.

The movie was funny but also very touching.  It is the perfect comedy.  It’s touching, sad, clever and everything else that is great.   Not too many scenes and not too few.

The main character, Ellen Page, who plays Juno is incredible.  She’s completely believable as a smart-ass pregnant 16 year old and carries the movie every step of the way.  Her character reminded me somewhat of Natalie Portman’s character (Marty) in Beautiful Girls in that she’s both very cute and wise beyond her years.  And similar to Portman’s Marty, Page’s Juno is one of the best movie characters ever.

The movie is written by Diablo Cody, a former stripper (who stripped at the Deja Vu in Minneapolis).  I don’t know how she did it, but she’s written one of the best comedies i’ve seen in a long long time.

The unexpected pregnancy theme is similar to this summer’s “Knocked Up” and i read the following comparison:

Ms. Cody (writer), Mr. Reitman  (director) and Ms. Page (Juno) have conspired, intentionally or not, to produce a feminist, girl-powered rejoinder and complement to “Knocked Up.” Despite what most products of the Hollywood comedy boys’ club would have you believe, it is possible to possess both a uterus and a sense of humor.

“Juno” also shares with “Knocked Up” an underlying theme, a message that is not anti-abortion but rather pro-adulthood.

This is true – and many comedies stick you with a pro-adulthood message at the end, but few actual deliver the goods in a way where you believe the maturation that’s occured and Juno definitely makes you a believer.