What I Would do to Fix AOL

I saw the annoucement last week (and news stories) of the new AOL CEO, Randy Falco, and got to wondering, if I’m in charge of running AOL which is now in the business of monetizing traffic to AOL.com and other pages, how would i do it? A few thoughts came to mind….

First, i would buy the best, more user-friendly and one of hte most popular social networks around – Facebook. With facebook, you not only get a great social network, but you also get one of the best photo-sharing applications on the internet. Then i would merge it with AIM, change all AIM-pages to be facebook pages, and place the mini-feed on every users home AOL.com page. That would drive traffic. Granted, it would take a long time to get everything on the same platform (calendar, aim, mail, etc.) but facebook’s interface and features are much, much better than AOL’s. Everyone’s speculating about Yahoo buying facebook, why not AOL? AOL has just as much cash and just enough desire to monetize their traffic. It’s almost as if everyone assumes AOL is dying and isn’t going to invest in their future.

Buy Meebo
AIM is one of the most precious assets AOL has and it is being threatened by Meebo. I would buy it immediately and make all meebo-me widgets become AIM widgets and place them all over the web and inside the recently purchased AOL-facebook pages.

Streaming Music Locker

Subscription streaming. AOL should abandon the WMA format and go for only streaming. In an iPod world, the only way to play is to make your server compatible with iTunes and that means abandoning DRM and/or simply abandoning any local download. A service like last.fm + mp3tunes would go a long way.

Video
Go all-flash as DRM instead of Windows Media so mac users can play. Have it all hosted so you can access anywhere and watch anywhere.

Mail
Build, Buy or do whatever it takes to do a SERIOUS upgrade to your mail application. Mail is the largest driver of ad inventory and if you’re service is completely ad-based, this should be your #1 priority. It’s been over 2 years since Gmail launched, you would think someone at AOL would have noticed how to please mail users. Where is unlimited storage, where are ajax-features to reduce latency, where? AOL mail is by far the worst webmail application on the internet. It needs to be fixed.

Voice
AOL bought 3 voice companies between 2000 and 2003: eVoice, Quack, and another one from Canada (i’m forgetting the name). AOL made serious investment in voicemail, voice recognition and other voice services. From what i can tell, all that has been completely abandoned. I would restart this effort and do more click-to-talk services, similar to Google’s. However, all of AOL’s services are tied into mail and AIM making them more attractive. For instance, it would be easy to do click-to-talk and then save to mp3 which would be put into your music streaming locker.

These are just a few of the things i’d do. What do you all think? I think Randy’s in for a tough job and i’m not bullish on AOL’s chances. I think the most successful internet companies are run by those who understand the technology and can see the trends coming. Google embraces technology and let’s it unlock new opportunities and i don’t see somewhat who’s entire background is in TV and TV ad-sales pushing AOL into new models and opportunities. That’s just my initial reaction. Then again, Terry Semel’s done a good job at Yahoo, so who knows.

Second Life's Got Homeless Too

slhomelesskid.jpgUnless you’ve been living under a stone you’ve heard of Second Life – the virtual world where real people in real places can make virtual people and virtual places. Real people and companies have been flocking to it over the past few months. Now i read that there’s the first homeless guy in there. However, this is not some guy in Second Life who’s out to just get in your way while you’re walking down the street asking for a quarter. No, this guy is the result of a non-profit in Spain who are trying to reach the young and digital.

I think it’s great when companies get creative and go to where the people are. Second Life is full of young, affluent and social conscious people. That’s where NGO’s should be.

Boom Goes the Dynamite

There’s a good article of the potential of YouTube in Wired this month.  From that article, they mention this video (below).  it’s a great segment of a novice sportscaster giving us the news, sort of.  He’s nervous, awkward and totally hilarious.  The best part is in the middle of his debacle he pulls out a “boom goes the dynamite!” phrase completely out of nowhere.

I also love about 45 seconds in, when he’s completely bombing you can see him mouth “i’m so sorry” to the people off camera.   Call me an ass, but it’s frickin’ great.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W45DRy7M1no]

Where Are You in the Dating Graph?

attractivenesscale.jpg

This is a good graph that was sent to me that can accurately diagram who the person next to you in bed is, or how they fit into your dating perspective. While some of my friends have set up camp in the Zone of Pain with their “go ugly early” strategy, others jump between the dreaded cycle of Friend – Awkwardness – F-Buddy – Awkwardness, while the rest meander around in the dating zone with occasional layovers in the Zone of Pain.

Where do you stand (or should i say sleep)?

Ridiculous Video Vol. 3

Freakin’ Brothers

These guys are playing piano in an unusual way.  You have to admire not only their skill but also their threshold for pain

[youtube=http://youtube.com/watch?v=odlbhpM_k60]

Complaint Choir

The Complaint Choir of Helnsinki. The creation of a Finnish husband-wife artist team, Oliver Kochta Kalleinen and Tellervo Kalleinen, the choir stars in the most instantly accessible and funniest comedy/art video I’ve seen in a while.

[youtube=http://youtube.com/watch?v=ATXV3DzKv68]

Butterfly

This is a trippy, yet very cool metamorphasis of a woman into a butterfly.  Only a minute long and worth it.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YHVFszDT1Ic]

If you like these, check out Ridiculous Videos Vol. 1 and Ridiculous Videos Vol. 2 

An Albino Deer – A 1 in Million Occurance

I got this message emailed to me today by my mom’s friend in Wisconsin. Apparently a deer jumped out in front of her car and when they went to rescue it they saw it was an albino deer. Looks pretty cute…

A very eventful day around here. A once in many lifetimes experience! Mark saw this lil’ feller run out in front of a car, thought it was a lost baby goat. Stopped to get it, and WOW. A real Albino Whitetail Deer. Just hours old, but doing fine. No Momma deer around. Another car nearly hit it in front of Mark.

Well, he is THE neatest and cutest thing any of us ever saw. And such a ‘freak of nature’, that only 1 in more than a million are even born. He took his bottle of food, followed us around the house, doing great.  We called the Zoo & Fossil Rim and both were interested, but we’re actualy going to send him to a Rehab farm. Maybe he will make it in captivity somewhere and be appreciated. I hope so.  These deer are very rare. We wanted to keep him but it’s not the right thing to do – and not legal either.

Here are a couple of pix to show ya. He was snow white, pink eyes, ears, nose and hooves.  Our kids called him Powder. He was SO small. That is my shoe lying beside him.

Pass this around, a lot of folks have never and will probably never see even another picture of an Albino deer fawn……

Kramer's Racial Tirade

This is an insane video of Michael Richards – Kramer from Seinfeld – doing a pretty racist and rough standup show.   This is definitely worth checking out…

[youtube=http://youtube.com/watch?v=gsxiB5dZNNs]

Other link: http://us.video.aol.com/video.index.adp?mode=1&pmmsid=1772645

What's My Name Bitch!

I found this site today which has the real names of musicians. It’s interesting to see that Sly Stalone, Eddie Vedder and others aren’t really called that. Here are some good ones….

Aaliyah – Aaliyah Dana Haughton
Tori Amos – Myra Ellen Amos
Ashanti – Ashanti Shaquoya “Shani Bani” Douglas
Erykah Badu – Erica Wright
Beyonce – Beyonce Giselle Knowles
Bjork – Bjork Gudmundsdottir
Michael Bolton – Michael Bolotin
Jon Bon Jovi – John Francis Bongiovi Jr.
Bono (U2) – Paul David Hewson
Pat Boone – Charles Eugene Boone

David Bowie – David Robert Hayward Stenton Jones
Bobby Brown – Robert Barisford Brown
Jackson Browne – Clyde Jackson Browne
Buckethead – Brian Carroll
Vitamin C – Colleen Fitzpatrick
50 Cent – Curtis Jackson
Ray Charles – Ray Charles Robinson
Cher – Cherilyn Sarkisian La Piere
Eric Clapton – Eric Patrick Clapp
Patsy Cline – Virginia Patterson Hensley
Joe Cocker – John Robert Cocker
Coolio – Artis Ivey Jr.
Continue reading “What's My Name Bitch!”

Instead of a Diet, Get a Camera

Americans are obese, but at least we have a slew of technology out there to help us out. In fact, there’s a new HP camera, that actually makes you look slimmer. Check this out:

HP Camera

And the website reads:

They say cameras add ten pounds, but HP digital cameras can help reverse that effect. The slimming feature, available on select HP digital camera models, is a subtle effect that can instantly trim off pounds from the subjects in your photos!

That’s almost eerie – but whatever, pass the turkey

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