Author: Mike P. Lewis

Snakes On A Plane (Continued)

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Two more things i’ve seen in the past two days.

First, i don’t know why this wasn’t more widely reported, but apparently in Arizona some people actually released a bunch of rattlesnakes into a theater that was showing Snakes on a Plane. How frickin’ scary would that be to be watching a ridiculous movie about snakes and to see one slithering down the aisle. Story is here.

Second, i saw this clip of Samuel L. doing his thing on The Daily Show and it was funny to see that he actually just signed up to do this movie based on the title, which is funny b/c people are going to see it based soley on that too. I also like how excited both Sam and John are just to be able to swear on television – it never gets old for Stewart.
[youtube=http://youtube.com/watch?v=PupI1HytQW4]

Snakes On a Plane is Totally Absurd

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Snakes on a ComicSo i went and saw the movie with STB opening weekend and totally enjoyed it. It was totally absurd and gratuitous and not good at all – which is exactly what i expected.

My one comment – I actually wish they had made it more ridiculous. For example, in the very beginning a guy and a really hot gal get up from their seats and head to the bathroom to a) smoke a joint, and b) Get. It. On! I was pretty surprised to see that she got almost completely naked and there was an incredible amount of boobage displayed. Of course, one things start heating up a snake comes through the hole where the smoke detector was and makes a bullseye for her nipple. Sitting in the theater, my expectations for the movie immediately soared and i was pretty pumped that this movie was going to just be totally insane in both nudity and gore. Unfortunately, after this very cool scene, nothing else came close to delivering nudity-wise and it was a complete snake gore-fest, which is what you have to expect.

All in all, the movie was as expected – completely absurd

Beta – Is Nothing Finished?

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As you cruise the Web2.0 aisle, you’ll see almost every site has a “beta” tag attached to it. For those of you who don’t know, “beta” is a label you put on a product before it’s ready for primetime, before you launch. Officially (and according to wikipedia),

the beta period is likely to be unstable but useful for internal demonstrations, but not yet ready for release.

Often this stage begins when the developers announce a feature freeze on the product, indicating that no more feature requirements will be accepted for this version of the product.

What gets me is that many public and totally usable sites still carry the Betama_maps-beta_1.gif stamp. Look at AOL’s Video Product which has been in the news a bunch lately or or Yahoo’s Map service which has been working for over 9 months now (and i really like btw). Or also Google Video also has it although it serves tens of thousands of videos a day. These are not private releases to fix bugs, they are insecurity labels put on to products because the developers aren’t sure if they’ll break.

logo_video.jpgThis completely annoys me. I want people to develop a site until it’s worthy for people to use and then put it out. If it is available for anyone to use – it’s ready. Call it version 1.0. People know what 1.0 means, it means the first iteration. As you fix it and add features, you can go to 1.2, 1.5, 2.0, whatever. But keeping a product in perpetual beta mode is just wrong – have the balls to actually take the training wheels off and see if you can ride.

Not Everyone Sucks

There are some sites that are clever and smart. For example:

1. Writely. They have the best system i’ve seen. At the top right side of thwritely.jpgeir page they have a “beta meter” where users can vote whether their service is stable enough to come out of beta. That’s a great idea. It’s the users who you’re trying to please and if they deem the service solid, then it probably is. This is a company that Google bought earlier this year to build their Google Suite that i’ve speculated about for many a moon.

flickr_logo_gammav12.gif2. Flickr. Instead of being another copycat beta or even alpha – they actually went one more level to the third letter in the alphabet to Gamma. I like it and it goes with their playful nature of the entire site. I totally respect how they do their own thing. Kudos.

Beards – They're Coming Back!

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To celebrate a post i made on the blog FirstDateDC which was highlighted on Wonkette, i wanted to focus briefly in the other direction: male’s facial hair. Seeing that the 80’s are coming back (i’ll explain more in an upcoming post), does that mean that beards and mustaches are coming with them? I secretly hope so.

To add more excitement to the question, i recently saw that Beards.org had beards1.pngre-launched. I thought this site was pretty hysterical and displays pretty much how lame all men are. I mean, seriously, an entire site for beards? Wtf?

They do have advice on how to grow beards:

The sad truth is that there is no magic solution to produce beard growth where there is little or none. If the guy is young, patience may be the answer, as there is always the chance that he will develop more facial hair in the future. Otherwise, unless there is a medical problem inhibiting beard development, there’s really not much that can be done.

And sympathy and words for people who aren’t fortunate enough to grow:

I encourage all guys to work on accepting the level of beardbeards2.png development that they have and learning to make the most of it.

If it still bothers a guy enough, I encourage him to consult a medical doctor. The doctor may not be able to help him develop more beard growth, but should be able to assist the patient in understanding the situation and help him to build coping skills. This is one of the toughest lessons about beards.

Also have 1) beard grooming tips, 2) featured beards, 3) success stories, 4) videos and galleris, and of course 5) a blog

Enjoy (…i guess)

Thanks to SubjectToBlackout for this.

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Prescription4Love Shows How The Web Is Getting More Social

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First there were line command messages between physicists (early 90’s), then email (mid-late 90’s), then Instant Messaging (98-’02), then social networks (’03) that combined messaging + profiles, and now we have messaging and interacting between people with chronic conditions.

Prescription4Love.com is a dating site for people with diabetes, cancer, obesity, STDs and a variety of other chronic conditions. It’s intended to be a safe space for people who risk serious embarrassment talking about their medical conditions with people who cannot relate.

Types of Users

Apparently people with other chronic conditions have been most interested in Prescription4Love. It was started by a guy in Atlanta to see how difficult it was for his brother to get a date with Crohn’s disease. Other types of people they customize for are:

  • AIDS/HIV, Obesity, Deafness, Diabetes, IBS, Infertility/Impotence, Allergies, Herpes, Hepatitis, Recovering alcoholic

This is a lot of people too. The estimate is that there will be 300 million people around the world with diabetes in 2025. The functionality is fairly basic dating site stuff. For example, messages are be sent through a nickname, instead of their full real names (just like Match).

If the 90’s and early 2000’s broght major technological change (faster chips,computer.jpg broadband, etc.), I’ve always thought that this is the time where the web begins to address and change the way people interact. This is the “social age” of the web which is why today’s internet successes aren’t necessarily computer scientists but marketers, anthropoligists, and others who create ways for users to talk, message, and truly interact. Look at how teenager’s interact with each other over IM – completely different than the days of calling each other on (gasp!) a landline. Just imagine how people will interact once there’s a social networking for everyone.

Get Your Ari Gold Fix

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This post is really only so i can repost the video below, which is gold baby, Gold!

Along with the rest of the world, i get pure satisfaction from watching HBO’s Entourage. It like a TV-show pixie stick – pure sugar. Some call it the Sex In The City for men, as it’s 4 guys walking around talking and doing what men want to do. However, Sex In The City did not have an Ari Gold. He makes the show. Thankfully, HBO has done more this season to round out his character
Here’s a video in case you missed any of his lines on the show:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bf02gokKMFk]

And here’s a little bio i put together of the real Ari Gold in LA which of course includes Mark Walhburg – who Vincent Chase’s is based on. One interesting thing to note is that Jeremy Piven actually used to be Ari’s client.

  • Real Name: Ari Emmanuel
  • Agency: Endeavor
  • Legendary Story
    • There was a trainee taking a piss in the bathroom. The trainee had a full bladder and did a little walk-back from the urinal to get a little distance. Ari walks in and sees the kid and fires him on teh spot. One minute you’re taking a satisfying pee in a good job, the next minute you’re on the street. Rough.
  • Clients – these are just the people i’ve heard of.  Apparently he has many more clients but these are ones you might know.
    • Jason Alexander “George Costanza”, Peter Berg (Collateral, Friday Night Lights, The Rundown), Larry Charles, Sacha Cohen “Ali G”, Bob Costas, Mike Binder (Actor, Writer – I liked Mind of the Married Man), Larry David, Michael Douglas, Conan O’Brien, Shaquille O’Neal, Ozzy Osbourne (and Jack and Sharon and Kelly), Paris Hilton, Bonnie Hunt (Actor, Writer), Adam McKay, David Russell, Chris Kattan, Vince McMahon, Michael Moore, Garry Shandling, Joel Silver (Producer), Aaron Sorkin, Ben Stein, Martin Scorsese, Mark Wahlberg – of course

    Little Miss Sunshine Is Warm and Fuzzy

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    Little Miss Sunshine is a lovely little film that will undoubtedly bring a smile tolittlemisssunshine_p.jpg your face. From the very first moment when you see a 9 year old girl watching a beauty pageant, you know this movie is about dreams and desires. And by the second scene where a failed suicide victim is forced to room with a 15 year-old teenage boy who’s refuses to speak and writes “Please don’t kill yourself. Welcome to Hell” on his notepad before turning out the light, you know that most characters will be fairly eccentric and their dreams will be revealed, dealt with, shattered and reassembled by the end of the film.

    Throughout the movie we are introduced to all six family members and their respective dreams. One wants to be in the Air Force, another to sell a self-help book, another to do drugs and have sex with as many people as possible before he dies, and so on and so forth. With each character’s dreams on display and with 6 characters, that’s a lot of storytelling. Thankfully, each story is fairly entertaining and well acted – each actor absolutely nails their scenes.

    All the characters are interesting, but none of them are extremely captivating (except Arkin) so works that there is no main character and we can jump from one storyline to the next. Ultimately we realize that each character’s dream is a great setup for some good comedy and not much else.

    I believe the movie dreams to be nothing else other than quirky and really funny. Towards this goal, it completely succeeds. The movie does not have much depth nor will resonate very long. It is like a beautiful summer day of sunshine – great to experience and fun to enjoy if you have the time, but not necessarily memorable.

    Overall: 8 out of 10

    Some notes:

    • The film is very similar to Chevy Chase’s National Lampoon’s Vacation. Both are about a family roadtrip where generations, siblings and ambitions are thrown into a “family trickster” and shaken up. Grandma in Vacation and Grandpa in Sunshine serve a similar purpose and Greg Kinnear does a good job playing the Clarke Griswold roll – especially when things start going south. Luckily though, this movie does not hinge on Greg Kinnear’s performance the way Vacation relied on Chevy. No, this movie relies on the complete ensemble and they flat out deliver.

    • griswoldandsunshine.jpg

      My one complaint is the development on Kinnear’s character. Throughout most of the movie he is selfish, patronizing and oblivious. Come the end of the movie, his 180 U-turn seems unbelievable. However, the climax was heart-warming enough that I was easily able to gloss over this issue

    (this is also posted at the movie site: doubler.wordpress.com)

    Clarett: Prison is Cool, At Least I'm Hairless

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    For those of you not paying attention, former Ohio State awesome running back Maurice Clarett was charged with carrying a concealed weapon after a highway chase early Wednesday that ended with police using Mace on him. After they got him they found four loaded guns in his SUV.

    Apparently he fancies himself a badass. In fact, according to Sgt. Michael Wood, “It took several officers to get him handcuffed,” Woods said. “Even after he was placed in the paddy wagon, he was still kicking at the doors and being a problem for the officers.”

    Also, the 22-year-old Clarett is currently awaiting trial on two counts of aggravated robbery, four counts of robbery and one count of carrying a concealed weapon in a separate case.

    My question is, if he is such a badass – why the cat hair remover? If you look at the picture of his front seat, you’ll see the following:

    clarett_illustration_412.jpg

    • Automatic weapon
    • 3 handguns
    • Grey Goose vodka
    • A CAT HAIR REMOVER! (bottom left of the picture)

    Apparently if you’re going to hit the streets, you better have hair free duds. Good to know.

    The Whole World Is Drunk

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    In response to the large amount of attention i’ve received on my previous post, i have the following quote.

    “The whole world is drunk and we’re just the cocktail of the moment. Someday soon, the world will wake up, down two aspirin with a glass of tomato juice, and wonder what the hell all the fuss was about.” — Dean Martin, in The Rat Pack

    We're all drunk

    That said, i’m happy people enjoyed the comparisons and i was astonished about how deep the connection could go if you took the time to think about it.

    8 Ways Pirates of Carribean steals from Return of the Jedi

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    Watching Pirates of the Carribean this past weekend, i was stunned about how much of it was lifted from Star Wars: Return of the Jedi. Let me count the ways…

    1. The beginning of Jedi has a desert monster that did the bidding of Jabba.kraken.jpg This happens to look exactly like The Krackin – the sea monster that does Davy Jones’ bidding. You may recongnize the same little pointy teeth that they both have. (it was called a Sarlacc in ROTJ)
    2. The Ewoks are a cute little bunch of animals in the jungle. Pirates has a group of cannibals on an island who have a similarly cute little language. Just as they confuse Jack Sparrow as a god, the Ewoks confuse C3PO to be their god and place him in command
    3. The Ewoks are cannibals too – seriously, it says so on Wikipedia (although we all know how accurate that is)
    4. The Ewoks decide to burn Han Solo alive above a big fire pit that looks very similar to the fire where the cannibals try to burn Captain Jack. (Have to give credit to my friend Justin for this one). So basically Pirates took the Ewok scece and instead of having Luke, Leia, Chewy, and RD2 tied up and C3P0 as God, they used Jack for all it.
    5. Luke Skywalker is a lame, painful-to-watch guy with amanishwomen.jpg lightsaber who is upstaged by the more manly Princess Leia. Similarly, Orlando Bloom is (as always) a lame, painful-to-watch guy with a sword who is upstaged by the more manly Keira Knightly
    6. Both Luke and Orlando try to save their dads who have aligned themselves with the main villian (Emperor and Davy) – the main villians who are both trying to kill Luke/Orlando or convince him to join the bad guy army of troops.
    7. Comic relief is provided by Han Solo – a renegade that is temporarily trying to do the right thing to land a gal (Leia) – just as funny-man Jack Sparrow, a renegade pirate has a brief spell of integrity to impress Kiera.
    8. There are many other character similarities i could make such as between Lando and Cutler, R2D2 and CP30 are the same as the two funny guys with bad teeth who steal the chest and tried to steal the Black Pearl, and the Millenium Falcon is very similar to the Black Pearl.

    Can you think of any others?